The Blessing in the Burden

May 26, 2018 – One Year After My Diagnosis

Today is my cancerversary.  It was this time last year that I was laying in a hospital bed staring at the wall trying to wrap my head around what the doctors had told me earlier in the day:

“There’s no good way to say this but we found a mass on your right upper lung.”
Blink. Blink.
“It’s pretty significant in size and we are going to need to check you in to monitor you over the weekend and hopefully get a biopsy.”
Mass…biopsy…cancer?

What was supposed to be a quick trip to Urgent Care so I could finally start my four day weekend, ended up being the catalyst that turned our lives upside down…I spent the first 3 nights trying to read and research all I could about lymphomas and cancer treatments before I realized that the only thing I needed to be reading was His Word…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

The cancer treatments in the last year took a toll on me physically and will still continue to affect me for a long while but one of the things I refuse to let cancer do is destroy my spirit…while most people would look at getting cancer as a burden – I choose to receive it as a blessing…

How can you possibly look at getting cancer as a blessing?!?

Cancer tried to eat away at my peace but I found peace by learning to surrender control and laying my worries and fears at His feet.

Cancer tried to destroy my confidence but I learned to redefine my own definition of beauty and understand what it means that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Cancer tried to keep me isolated but I learned to lean on others and ask for help – to swallow my pride and lose the need to want to do everything on my own.

Cancer tried to convince me that my body was failing me but I learned that it is so much more resilient than I used to give it credit for.

Cancer tried to shatter my hope but I learned that He has a greater purpose for all of it.

Would I have learned all these things if I wasn’t diagnosed with cancer last year? Maybe…but I’ll never know…Cancer DID show up in my life and it tested me, stretched me, push me beyond limits I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle…but a year later I am in remission and I’ve learned so much about myself and have gotten closer to Him in the process…how can anything that draws me into a deeper relationship with God be called anything but a blessing?